Friday, July 28, 2006

The Marrying Wo-Man

I am getting a lot of pressure from the mother-type person and let me just say I know! Goddamnit, I know! Yes, it's true, I have no husband, boyfriend or lover. I also don't have a third eye, cause I don't NEED one. It would be nice to have one, but I don't need one. Men are like meatballs on spaghetti, nice to have, but the meal is still good without them. I don't need to be reminded of this fact all the bleedin' time.

This is not a bitching post about my sad state of non-affairs, but Mom has really been on me lately about finding a man. Honestly, I don't know where it's coming from, none of the triggers are out there. No one we know is getting married or having children.

Anyway...It's been 6 days, we can now talk bad about Uptown Dave. As cute as he was how interested he seemed, there were some things about him that we off-putting:

He chews, and that's unbelievably disgusting. I can handle smoking, but chewing involves frequent spitting and it rots your mouth and many other things. It's bad and gross and will not stand for it.

He also got kicked out of school for fighting. Let's break that down. He got kicked out of the nation's number 1 party school, for fighting. He had a lot of rage, he said. He was also on steroids at the time. Nice, huh?

A chewer and a drug user. These are the men that are out there for me to pick from.

The dating service called me last night or during the day, I don't know, I am in heavy screening mode. Oh, didn't I tell you, I filled out this little form online in a moment of weakness. They called, I have to call them back and say go away, cause well, I am young and it is just so pathetic to go through a dating service. All I can think of is Lowered Expectations from MADTV. The woman is very perky (I hate perk) and she is also very insistent, which I find pushy and annoying. But OFJ (Oldest Friend Jo) says she will just take me out more and we will find man-type people together.


At 3:54 PM , Blogger shadeewolf said...

Don't fret my pet, you will find the right person all in due time. And it's not sad or pathetic to use dating services! Jeremy's brother used one and he's now married to one of the first people he went on a date with...and they are expecting their first child in November. It is more sad to be me and have been with someone as long as I have without any guarantees of tomorrow...

At 4:20 PM , Blogger HelloBettyLou said...

he's stuck around this long. keep that in mind. And it's nt pathetic for some, but in my mind it is. I will use it if i'm 40 and still single.

At 2:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes people are like clay, mold them to your own expectations. Buy "Dave" a lot of chewing gum, then take him home and watch Disney with him for an entire weekend. You might be able to substitute the Lifetime channel for Disney, either way it should cure the anger. All things take work, or you wouldn't be satisfied with the results.

At 9:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your Mother is part Catholic and Jewish. It's in their blood.


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