Tuesday, May 30, 2006


SPOILER ALERT: I will be writing about X-Men, a movie that opened this weekend so if you haven't seen it, stop reading now, cause I'm givin' it all away.

I saw X-Men: The Last Stand on Sunday. I liked the first two better. There was absolutely no character development and the script was full of crappy one liners. Seriously, Wolverine does not cry, let alone twice in a 2 hour movie. Seriously.

Other things I found just not right:

They introduced characters and gave no back story like they usually do, I like backstory. I need it.

They killed off Scott first, who was very annoying as the widowed Cyclops. "He took Jean's death so very hard." That's an actual quote.

Then Jean, who has been reincarnated as the unstoppable Phoenix (she can't control her powers and old, sweet Jean keeps trying to come out) destroyed her parent's house and with it Professor X. I really didn't see that one coming but since everyone seems to come back from the dead in these movies, I am not too heartbroken over it.

Mystique was shot with The Cure (not the band, unfortunately) and Magneto abandoned her, the dick, she got him back though.

The Cure's creator tried to cure his son, a very hot Ben Foster who I thought was cute back in the day on "Flash Forward". He flew away from that fight, literally.

The Mutant War began, people died, Wolverine had to stop Jean, she was going nuts, with the total annihilation of all those around her and whatnot. Old, Sweet Jean begged Wolverine to kill her, he did and started crying. I am sorry, you are not allowed to cry over the person you just killed, no matter how much you love them.

Jean: "Would you die for them?"
Wolverine: "No, for you."
Jean: "Kill me, please."
Wolverine: "I love you"
:: claw to abdomen::
::embarrassing crying while holding body on wreckage of Golden Gate Bridge::

I am not heartless, but come on.

So here's the count -

Cured: Mystique, Magneto, countless, nameless mutants, Rogue (Marie now, BTW), but she wanted to be cured and went to the clinic of her own accord.

Killed: Scott Summers (Cyclops), Jean Grey, Charles Xavier

Headmaster of the Xavier School: Storm (Ororo)

New Ambassador to the UN: Beast (Dr. Hank McCoy)

Beaten to a Bloody Pulp: Pyro (John), by Iceman (Bobby), he totally deserved it.

Doesn't Get the Boy: Kitty Pryde (she was totally flirting with Bobby, playing the homesick, someone just died card). Since Rogue can touch people now, Kitty's got nothing on her. Who names their child Kitty and who keeps up the name when they could be anything else.

The only question I do have though, other than why Brett Ratner (he makes crap) is allowed to live, is since Rogue is no longer a mutant, does she get to stay at Xavier's School? Questions left unanswered, Number 3 is the last, supposedly.


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