Thursday, December 14, 2006

Life Update

There is a lot going on right now…strike that, there’s only one thing going on. The BF and I broke up last night. A lot did go into it and I will break it down for you here along with translations of what was said. First there was this conversation:

“First off, I want you to know that this in no way means I want to break up with you”

I want to break up with you.

“I know I haven’t been that nice lately and it has to do with all the stuff I’m about to go into.”

I have been an asshole as of late and it’s my true personality shining through, ha ha.

“I have a lot of family stuff going on, blah, blah. Work is hard, blah, blah.”

I have no room in my life for you. And you should feel really bad for wanting to spend time with me, even if it’s just one day a week.

“I’m taking on all this stuff that my parents can’t handle right now.”

My family is very important to me, but I am taking on way more than I can chew and even though you are the best girlfriend in the world and very easy to be with, I can’t be with you. Basically, I don’t want to be the bad guy and break up with you and I’m giving you an out so you will do it.

I said something to the effect that he needs to make a decision about if he has room in his life for me and that I want him to be happy and if that means not having me around, that’s ok.

Then I texted him to say he needs to make a decision about Friday because it would be awkward at his holiday party if he is still on the fence about us. Because I was home by now, you see, all this happened while I was driving home from work.

Then I called the LLS, we talked. She helped me to realize that he is not someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and that’s what I am looking for right now.

So I called him and said that “I needed someone who could make me a priority in their life and he couldn’t do that.” I couldn’t bring myself to say break-up, so I said take a break “and if someday we find each other again, that’s’ great, but if not, that’s the way it goes.” And he says, “As long as you see where I’m coming from.” And that was it. I went out drinking with Jo after that.

It’s for the best. Like I said, I couldn’t picture myself with him in 50 years. And there were other things:

· He didn’t seem all that enthusiastic to spend time with me, like it was a hassle. I want someone who is willing to see me at the drop of a hat and is excited about it. Not someone who can’t bring himself to spend more than one day per week with me.

· He didn’t cuddle, ever. Can’t be with a non-cuddler.

· I wasn’t me around him. I couldn’t be sassy and sarcastic and sexual around him, because he got this look about him when I did and then tried to lecture me on it. Your partner is supposed to make you the best possible you, not try to change you. Yes, I want to be a cutesy couple, not one that is already boring after 3 months.

· He was really quiet with his insults; he was snippy and not very nice.

So it’s over, I am already commissioning my friends to help me find someone new. I will miss being with someone, but I don’t think I will necessarily miss him. It sounds cruel, but really, three months is not enough time to get truly invested and I don't think I was as invested as much as I thought or could have been.


At 11:22 AM , Blogger chinchilla said...

Last time didn't seem to work, so I'm trying this again. I'm glad you are so quick to realize all this! The right guy will want to see and hug you more often than not, or all the time. These things just help you better realize what you want, need and deserve. Pring this list out and put it away some where. Next time some emotionally unavailable guy is distancing himself from you, take it out and remember.

We should see The Holiday, yes??!?

I'll miss you there on friday...

At 11:32 AM , Blogger HelloBettyLou said...

I really wanted to go too, but I think it would be weird now. Holiday: yes, Jo will come too.

At 1:41 PM , Blogger Gus said...

I'm sorry that it didn't work out with you two, it's good that you realized early on that you weren't being treated the way you deserve to be!

we'll miss you on Friday!

At 10:49 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boy did he blow it. I know you are a great person and deserve better. Will take his xmas present back. This break up was easy. Do you require break up shoe shopping? Mom

At 7:25 AM , Blogger HelloBettyLou said...

Possibly :)


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