Sunday, January 14, 2007

Universal Truth

Good morning. I am coming to you today with some facts about life that I have gathered over the years. Please take heed.

1. Size does matter. If someone says otherwise, they are a bald face liar. Of course, size is relative. What is too small to one, may be perfect for another. And what it too big for one, may be perfect for another. You just have to find that another.

2. People do not change. If you think they will or you can make them, you are stupid. Liars will always lie, cheaters will always cheat, abusers will always abuse. Deal with it and move on.

3. All things are less dreadful than they seem, look for the brighter side.

4. If they seem too good to be true, they probably are. There is a reason they are single.

That's all for now, I was thinking about these things as I walked out of the library yesterday. Strange thoughts (here are more if you want some). I have been having strange dreams too. Ones far too complicated to go into.


At 11:08 AM , Blogger Michael Songero said...

You didn't hook up with an undersized homeless man that pretended to be a businessman in the library while he stole books and TP did you?

At 8:38 AM , Blogger P said...

Re #3. Life has an unlimited capacity for shittiness and is indiscriminate in its application. Average shittiness varies greatly from person to person, however, and hence the shittiness of any one event is relative and subject to individual interpretation. What might be an unmitigated personal disaster for you could be a Christmas miracle in Botswana, but that doesn't make it any less of a disaster for you.

Re #4. Taken literally, this would suggest that the only good good partner is one you can steal from someone else, because otherwise they're single... for a reason. [cue ominous music] While people have done this partner stealing to good effect, most people hook up with other people while both parties are not otherwise engaged and that process seems to work okay.
Also, relationships are bilateral, so someone who is too good to be true for you may be forgettable to someone else. And some people are just unlucky, and so on.

At 1:04 PM , Blogger chinchilla said...

Re #4 - What does too good to be true mean? Unrealistically good? You're right, they probably aren't, but to say that everyone that's single right now is single for some persoanlity flaw?

Why bother dating then? And what are you saying about yourself? This would really mean that all the good ones are taken.

I disagree, vehemently.


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