Sunday, June 28, 2009

Pridefest Blog Topics

These are the topics I will be blogging about in my PrideFest Blog:

Dogs in purses/strollers

All the cute boys are gay!

Super cute a sweet old gay dudes

All leather all the time

The proper use of bikini tops and spandex

Camera wielding perverts


Underwear/ Stickers only fashion statements

Who you trying to kid? Bikinis and high heels to Pride, really?

Those of the vacant look

Blog post to come soon.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Holy Crap(s)

I went to s co-worker's house for dinner and games last night. We had a great time until we started playing craps. They have a full size regulation table in the finished basement.

But oh my God, I thought I liked this guy and his family, but they are so obnoxious when they play games and so are their friends.

One, the guy is terrible when he thinks someone is going over his head in the game and therefore lets his daughter be awful too. And his wife just takes it. I wonder how they are when people aren't there?

And the brother-in-law was making snide comments all night. It was all I could do to get out of there after a few hours.

The daughter is going to be a total bitch when she gets to high school in a few years and whose fault to you think that is?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

What's in a Pet

Cocoa has bladder stones.

The kind you can't get rid of with medication or a special diet.

Her surgery will cost $1100.

This is a lot of money but really... it's only a couple of pay checks.

What are a couple of paychecks over the course of a lifetime, really? She is only 5, so we have a lot of years left together and I want her to be happy and comfortable.

But then again, she is not in pain, her physical was normal except for the stones.

We'll see what happens.

I love my baby.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

My Baby

Cocoa is sick.

Karmic Retribution, or Revenge is a Dish Best Served by the COPS

A friend was hurt by her boyfriend last year. Not emotionally, they didn't have a fight.

He beat the living shit out of her.

She rightly left him right then and there (it was the first time he'd hit her), went to her uncle's house for a few days and got a place of her own. I don't understand people who stay in abusive relationships. I just don't. Yes, I get that they are so beaten down emotionally and physically that they don't think they can get out or deserve anything better. But do you know how strong a human being is? Or how strong they can be?

When she called me from her uncle's house to tell me what happened, I was rightfully angry. Pissed actually. I demanded to know where he was (they had just moved in together) so I could fire bomb his apartment. This is my standard response to any situation wherein my friends are hurt or wronged in any way. I should really learn how to do it though, if I am going to make good on my claim. No one has taken me up on the offer though.


She wouldn't tell me where he was, and I eventually calmed down. The fire bombing was tossed out the window so to speak. So instead I kept him in my prayers. That his penis would become diseased, wither to blackness and fall off.

I know this is terrible karma. Wishing pain and affliction on others is not good joojoo.

So instead the universe answered my prayers and evil thoughts.

He was arrested for DUI!

The new boyfriend is much better. Very kind, attentive, good.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

20 Things You Should Know About BettyLou

1. I love clothes, but if I could, I would be naked all the time.
2. I hate socks. I have tiny feet and they never fit right.
3. If I could get paid to sleep, I would.
4. If you asked my grandma, I am Catholic.
5. My family has been described as "freakishly close." Which is OK, I'd rather be too close than not close at all.
6. Most of my friends are men. And now I don't wonder why I don't date.
7. I watch cartoons while I eat because I can ignore them.
8. The lights have to be on when I eat, I like to know what I am putting in my mouth.
9. I don't take kindly to stupid, I try to avoid it at all costs. One of many reasons why I don't watch reality TV.
10. When I imagine my life 10...15 years down the road, I see a house, a garden, a dog. No children, no husband. It's a nice dream. A quiet dream.
11. The reasons I do not feel the need to marry or procreate are varied and complicated. The simple answer is that I am incredibly selfish and like the fact that all my income is disposable.
12. I am a lover, not a wife.
13. I am an aunt, not a mommy.
14. I don't like children in any form. They are loud, obnoxious, an incredibly annoying (just stand in line at Toys R Us during the holidays. I am never doing that again). Weston, however, is the exception. He just makes the whole world seem better.
15. Country music rubs me the wrong way.
16. I have an uncanny knack for hearing things I shouldn't.
17. I am a terrible listener. I interrupt a lot.
18. I put my foot in my mouth more than anyone I know.
19. I can almost put my feet behind my head. That is as far as my special skills go.
20. In my head,I am pure awesomeness, in the real world, self doubt has a fairly strong foothold. But in my head, my awesomeness is palpable.

And the Bonus Round:
1. If I could live anywhere, the top choices would be: London (cost prohibitive), DC (cost prohibitive), San Francisco (cost prohibitive), Toronto, if only for the abundance of smoked meats and Denver.
2. I can say fuck you in 5 different languages.
3. I can bake, cook and clean, I just choose not to.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Summer Plans

Every year, when school got out, before we were old enough to work (which, BTW, I did from the time I was 15 to now) My sisters and I (Youngest and LLS) had to actually do stuff during our summer vacations. Yes, there was sleeping a lot and a ton of mindless TV watching, but there were also math worksheets and summer reading contests and the like. And since school is out (I haven't been in school in 5 years, but Youngest is a teacher and she is now off, so I know this for a fact), I have decided to make a SUMMER PLAN.

June: Learn enough of a new language to get by - it's going to be Japanese. You will see why in a minute.

July: Finish teaser for comic book. I am working with a guy I met on my last high school job. It's Japanese influence, so a few strategically placed phrases can't hurt.

August: Read every book Jane Austen ever wrote. This is a whole summer goal. It will take time.

There is a possible road trip or two in here somewhere

I schlepped to Capitol Hill Books (which is my new Mecca) today and picked up the Austen omni for $12!! Yeah man!

I also got some Japanese books.

So you see, I will be very busy. Plus there is Roomie and BF's wedding in September for which I need a hot boyfriend (I already have a back up date lined up). Although, I am not really feeling dating right now. Too busy! We'll see.

Have a Happy and Safe Summer.