YeahSureRight: March 2007

300

This is post 300. 65 to go my lovelies. Any suggestions as to topics. As you can see I am running out.

Brownies

I know these posts are getting lame as we near our goal of 365 in 365, but I wanted to tell you that I will be making brownies this weekend. With walnuts.

Go ahead, drool. A girl whose cute, funny and bakes.

No, I'm really not that self centered.

La Gripe

Something is definitely wrong. I just watched The Kid. Twice. In a row. Hallmark channel is going to be the death of me (also Latin Wheel of Furtune). Also, I took a four hour nap today. I think I am getting sick again. In my defense, Bruce Willis is sexy.

Also, GC has not called, texted or emailed. Should we count him out? Yes, I know end of the month is hectic for him, but I am not going to make excuses for anyone anymore. I am turning over a new Betty Leaf and I will be different. They will be different.

Fuck a duck, the whole situation confuses me.

So I went downtown today. I used the parking pass I bought last night and went to the book store. My favorite store, Tattered Cover. I read, I browsed, I did not buy. I did however write down many books I hope to read and will most likely get at the library. But I am saving money so I enjoyed my free browse.

I had invited my future roommates to come with me, but they were skiing and BBQing so I went alone.

Then I napped.

The Zone

Perfectly nice guy, no sparks. Good salmon though.

Catching Up

Just 69 more posts. 20 days. I think we can do it.

Oh, Those Darn Kids

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan , age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen , age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille , age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick , age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori , age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette , age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin , age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig , age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam , age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt , age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard , age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita , age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky , age 10

The Russian Post

Технически, я - русский части, но это могло быть ложью, потому что никто не знает, где в России Дедушка был от, и он эмигрировал в Канаду, и они не вели учет типа Эллис Исланда.

Но когда-нибудь я пойду и посещу Россию, потому что это красиво, и они хоронят их Коммунистических лидеров над землей.

The Portuguese Post

Nunca realmente pensei em ir a Portugal, adivinho que posso parar quando conseqüentemente vou à Espanha.

Pode ser bonito, eles têm praias.

The German Post

Ich wünsche, dass ich in Deutschland in diesem Augenblick war. So sauber, so bestellt, so viele Sexualgeschäfte.

Das Hemd, das ich in Deutschland kaufte, fällt auseinander, und der Esel stahl mein Poster Frankfurts, aber ich bin nicht bitter.

The French Post

Je suis fatigué et probablement malade et je veux aller à la maison, mettre des pyjamas désorientés et regarder Elizabeth I.

Je porte un chandail désorienté, mais il n'aide pas, comme je suis très chaud. Pouvez-vous connaître des éclats chauds à 25 ?

State of the Betty Address

I do not feel well. I felt worse yesterday, but I am still not 100% today. So I don't think it was just the massive amount of alcohol I drank on Wednesday night. It might be something else.

All that aside, I have a date tonight, as I have said before and probably one next week if GC decides he can pry himself away from his desk. He works, I understand and appreciate this, but still.

Let me tell you about my Wednesday, in all the graphic details I know you are all clamoring for.

Wednesday: 7:30pm - Vieve arrives at my house. I have just hopped out of the shower. I was of course running late because my cat nap ran over.

8:15pm - Arrive at bar, find rock star parking right out front, go in, order beers.

8:35pm - Lead singer of band asks if we are going in to see them play, we say "absolutely" and walk into other room. Hey, it's a free concert.

Band plays for an hour. They are OK, the lead singer, Justin, is very talented. But his sound does not really go with the band as a whole and would do much better to strike out on his own.

The second band is very good and Vieve and I might go see them again.

We meet Kelly (the Stripper) and Paul (the Contractor), a lovely couple who are sitting in front of us who invite us to go with them to the next bar.

Justin, the lead singer sits down with us for a bit, we chat and he buys V and me shots (the count is currently 2 beers and 2 shots).

We go to the next bar. Just a note, bars in this particular town, kinda suck and the second bar blows.

Much is blurry after this but I distinctly remember using the restroom in front of Kelly the Stripper, helping her buy drinks for some college boys and throwing up in the men's room sink.

Vieve drove me home after that during a fit of hiccups (mine, not hers) and I passed out safely in my bed, behind locked doors.

Also, I got a free CD from Band-Boy and he followed us to the second bar.

In the end it was 4 shots, 2 beers, 1 CD, all free except for 1 beer.

Also, I AM NEVER DRINKING AGAIN.

New Bar Rule

New Rule:

Don't let fun loving strippers buy you drinks.

Do let your sober friends drive you home because you were dumb enough not to follow the rules!

The band was ok, the lead singer bought shots for me and Vieve, gave us free CDs and followed us to the next bar.

Should have stayed at the first bar.

Closed

My company (or one of it's subsidiaries rather) just closed a 2.9 million dollar property deal. Champagne has been bought, all the principals are going to Morton's tonight for steak, lobster and much booze (about $200 a person worth). What do we lowly minions get. Nothing.

I got a 50 cent raise at my review (and my boss acts like this is huge) while my other bosses are spending this kind of money on food and $20,000 on jewelry for their wives.

Fair? No.

But I have a job, family, friends, dogs and cats who love me.

Does that make it OK? Kinda.

Le trou d'arrosement (The Watering Hole)

I am going to see local band The Stinos with Vieve tonight. I wanted GC to come (I had suggested it for or next date), but he's busy. So...GIRL'S NIGHT!

And with that here are Betty's Bar Rules:

Never wear open-toed shoes to the bar. This will invariably lead to some sort of unfortunate bathroom occurrence (i.e. clogged, overrun toilet, sink, other fissure). No body cleans that shit on busy nights.

Bring a buddy, It's just sad to drink alone.

Bring your drink wherever you go. If this is not possible, cover it with a napkin/coaster and and ask a friend to watch it.

Be nice to the bartender. Make nice, learn their name. You might enjoy some perks.

Don't open a tab. You can lose track of how many drinks you've had (or how many you've bought for that cutie at the end of the bar) and that could be bad for some of you. You know who you are, you lushes (puking your guts out in font of the cutie or the bar and never getting another date again).

If with a group (5 or more), don't all go to the bar at the same time, space yourselves out. No one needs a drink that badly.

If you are ordering at the bar, have your money in hand, bartenders love that and will usually hone in on you. Also, tip well.

If you aren't with the band, don't sing along audibly. It ruins it for the rest of us, cuz you can't sing. That's why you're not with the band.

And don't hit on the band.

Let the Games Begin

And they're off. Juggling begins anew on Friday with Bachelor #6. Coffee at Common Grounds.

Trash

I received a note on my door yesterday. Specifically addressed to me saying that I contributed to a trash build up issue this weekend.

For one thing, bite me. I pay a whole heap of money to live in that apartment and I should be able to do as I like. That includes throwing away my trash the only way I could. Which was putting the bags just inside the compactor area.

It was blocked by the trash of others. Therefore I could not properly depose of my trash.

I can't reach the compactor door anyway. It is high, I am short and the bag is heavy.

Meh-Heh.

And how did they know it was my trash? did they go though it? The response email I got today says the raccoons didn't get into it.

PS - I have so seen it look worse. After Superbowl Sunday last year, there were hot wing bones everywhere for about 3 days.

19

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

Well you got your reasons
And you got your lies
And you got your manipulations
They cut me down to size

Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

Seems the road less traveled
Shows happiness unraveled
And you got to take a little dirt
To keep what you love
That's what you gotta do

Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

Sayin' you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't
Sayin' you love where you stand
Give your heart when you can

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about or love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

18

This just in...where to begin
Grin and bear it, it's bear and grim
Adoration, titilation, I'm the victim now
Because she's figured me out
She lights my candle, she has a handle on me
It's going well but I'm scared as hell
That she'll figure me out
She thinks it's sacred to be naked
But I don't care, 'cause she's had me there
You see she's figured me out

And I wanna shout at the top of my lungs now
But oh my god, if she hears me she'll come running in...
These are my hands, these are my faults
These are my plans
These are my nasty little thoughs
I wrote 'em down for you to contemplate
at a later date

Well the word is out, what's it all about
Doubtless shady, no shadow of doubt
In moderation, this sensationwould be fabulous
But she's figured me out
She's in my shower for an hour
She's just washin' and wonderin'
And trying to figure me out...

It's a little bit of something that I feel...
Oh man, I just can't deal...
And other than this distance that has covered me
Can't you see that you have smothered me

Well, you're out there, just stay out there
Just when I was on to something else
That's when she figures me out

17

Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
Moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried
Sang along, who'd blame them
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers

[Chorus]:
Come on Eileen, oh I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen

These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces
They're so resigned to what their fate is
But not us (no never), no not us (no never)
We are far too young and clever
Remember
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
Eileen I'll hum this tune forever

Come on Eileen oh I swear (what he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything
That pretty red dress Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah come on let's, Ah come on Eileen
That pretty red dress, Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah come on let's, ah come on Eileen
Please...

Come on Eileen too-loo rye-aye
Come on Eileen too-loo rye-aye
Toora toora-too-loora

Now you have grown, now you have shown, oh Eileen
Come on Eileen, these things they are real and I know
how you feel
Now I must say more than ever
things round here have changed
Too-ra loo-ra too-ra loo-rye-aye

16

Spam
It's pink and it's oval
Spam
I buy it at the Mobil
Spam
It's made in Chernobyl
Spam

Now when I was a child
My family was so poor
They didn't have the finer things in life to eat
So we had a plan
In a big blue can
The government substitute for meat

(Repeat Chorus)

To get me to eat it at dinner
They said I'd grow up like Bruce Jenner
He was a winner that never knew defeat
And when he got hungry
When he got hungry
He cracked open that special treat
It was

(Repeat Chorus)

S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again

S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again and again

So go and forget your O-S-C-A-R
There's one meat by-product that's best by far
It's

15

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go
I wanna be sedated
Nothing to do
Nowhere to go
I Wanna be sedated
Just get me to the airport
And put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers
I can't control my brain
Oh no oh no
Just put me in a wheelchair
And get me to the show
Hurry hurry hurry before I go loco
I can't control my fingers
I can't control my toes
Oh no oh no

14

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Check it out

Going out

On the late night

Looking tight

Feeling nice

It's a **** fight

I can tell

I just know

That it's going down

Tonight

At the door we don't wait cause we know them

At the bar six shots just beginning

That's when dick head put his hands on me

But you see

I'm not here for your entertainment

You don't really want to mess with me tonight

Just stop and take a second

I was fine before you walked into my life

Cause you know it's over

Before it began

Keep your drink just give me the money

It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Midnight

I'm drunk

I don't give a ***k

Wanna dance

By myself

Guess you're outta luck

Don't touch

Back up

I'm not the one

Buh bye

Listen up it's just not happening

You can say what you want to your boyfriends

Just let me have my fun tonight

Aiight

I'm not here for your entertainment

You don't really want to mess with me tonight

Just stop and take a second

I was fine before you walked into my life

Cause you know it's over

Before it began

Keep your drink just give me the money

It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Break break

Break it down

In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks

You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck

We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see

So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah

You know who you are

High fivin, talking ****, but you're going home alone arentcha?

Cause I'm not here for your entertainment

No

You don't really want to mess with me tonight

Just stop and take a second

I was fine before you walked into my life

Cause you know it's over

Know it's over

Before it began

Keep your drink just give me the money

It's just you and your hand tonight

It's just you and your hand

I'm not here for your entertainment

No no no

You don't really want to mess with me tonight

Just stop and take a second

Just take a second

I was fine before you walked into my life

Cause you know it's over

Before it began

Keep your drink just give me the money

It's just you and your hand tonight

Yeah oh

This is not a jab at Youngest, also 13

Hey little sister what have you done
Hey little sister who's the only one
Hey little sister who's your superman
Hey little sister who's the one you want
Hey little sister shot gun!

It's a nice day to start again
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.

Hey little sister what have you done
Hey little sister who's the only one
I've been away for so long (so long)
I've been away for so long (so long)
I let you go for so long

It's a nice day to start again (come on)
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.

(Pick it up)

Take me back home
There is nothin' fair in this world
There is nothin' safe in this world
And there's nothin' sure in this world
And there's nothin' pure in this world
Look for something left in this world
Start again
Come on

It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again.
It's a nice day for a white wedding
It's a nice day to start again

12

Sometimes I wonder where it is love goes. I don't know if even Heaven knows.
But I know you had some dreams that didn't quite come true,
and now I'm not the one, little girl, who's keeping you.
I was either standing in your shadow or blocking your light.
Though I kept on trying I could not make it right for you girl,
there's just not enough love in the world.

I know people hurt you so bad, they don't know the damage they can do and it makes me so sad.
How we knock each other down just like children on a playground
even after that old sun went down.
I was either standing in your shadow or blocking your light.
Though I kept on trying I could not make it right for you girl,
there's just not enough love in the world.

Oh darling, this is still a shady little town and sometimes it's so hard to smile
for the world, for the camera and still have something left.
You don't have to prove nothing to nobody, just take good care of yourself.

I'm not easy to live with, I know that it's true.
You're no picnic either, babe and that's one of the things I loved about you.
But a time will come around when we need to settle down. Got to get of this merry-go-round.
I was either standing in your shadow or blocking your light.
Though I kept on trying I could not make it right for you girl,
there's just not enough love in the world.

11

Remember when the days were long and rolled beneath a deep blue sky?
Didn't have a care in the world with mommy and daddy standing by.
When "happily ever after" fails and we've been poisoned by these fairy tales,
the lawyers dwell on small details since daddy had to fly.
But I know a place where we can go that's still untouched by man.
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by and the tall grass wave in the wind.
You can lay your head back on the ground and let your hair fall all around me.
Offer up your best defense but this is the end, this is the end of the innocence.

Oh, beautiful, for spacious skies but now those skies are threatening.
They're beating plowshares into swords for this tired old man that we elected king.
Armchair warriors often fail and we've been poisoned by these fairy tales.
The lawyers clean up all details since daddy had to lie.
But I know a place where we can go and was away this sin.
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by and the tall grass wave in the wind.
Just lay your head back on the ground and let your hair spill all around me,
offer up your best defense but this is the end, this is the end of the innocence.

Who knows how long this will last, now we've come so far, so fast.
But, somewhere back there in the dust, that same small town in each of us.
I need to remember this so baby, give me just one kiss.
And let me take a long last look before we say good bye.
Just lay your head back on the ground and let your hair fall all around me.
Offer up your best defense but this is the end, this is the end of the innocence.

10

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear, but I knew that it would come.
An old, true friend of ours was talking on the phone, she said you found someone.
And I thought of all the bad luck and the struggles we went through
and how I lost me and you lost you.
What are these voices outside love's open door?
Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something more?
I'm learning to live without you now but I miss you sometimes.
The more I know, the less I understand. All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if, even if you don't love me anymore.

These times are so uncertain, there's a yearning undefined and people filled with rage.
We all need a little tenderness, how can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness, they're the very things we kill, I guess.
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
and the work I put between us, you know it doesn't keep me warm.
I'm learning to live without you now but I miss you, baby.
The more I know, the less I understand.
All the things I thought I'd figured out, I have to learn again.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but everything changes and my friends seem to scatter
but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness even if, even if you don't love me anymore.

There are people in your life who've come and gone.
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride.
Better put it all behind you babe, cause life goes on.
You keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby.

I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if, even if you don't love me.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter
so I'm thinking about forgiveness, forgiveness even if, even if you don't love me.

9

Friday night I'm going nowhere
All the lights are changing green to red
Turning over TV stations
Situations running through my head
Well looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To ever open up my heart
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule

Saturday I'm running wild
And all the lights are changing red to green
Moving through the crowd I'm pushing
Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream
Only wish that you were here
You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To tell you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made

If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now

Babylon, Babylon

Sunday all the lights of London
Shining , Sky is fading red to blue
I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves
And wondering where it is you might be going to
Turning back for home
You know I'm feeling so alone
I can't believe
Climbing on the stair
I turn around to see you smiling there
In front of me


If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now

Babylon, Babylon, Babylon

8

Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

Hey, pretty boy, what's your name?
You're just making me go insane.
I see you sitting there--don't know what to do
'Cause I just wanna French kiss you!

Chorus:
Hey, I'm gonna be your girl
Hey, I'm gonna be your girl
Hey, I'm gonna be your girl
And are you gonna be my guy?
And are you gonna be my guy?

Wednesday night and we're at Paco's
Teaching all of them to pogo.
I see you sitting there--don't know what to do
'Cause everytime I see you I go cuckoo

Chorus

Come on, baby, rab with me
You're the best dressed in Pali
You can make me go go go
Let's go to my room and blow!

Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

Hey, pretty boy, what's your name?
You're just making me go insane.
I see you sitting there--don't know what to do
'Cause I just wanna French kiss you!

Chorus:
Hey, I'm gonna be your girl
Hey, I'm gonna be your girl
Hey, I'm gonna be your girl
And are you gonna be my guy?
And are you gonna be my guy?
And are you gonna be my guy?
And are you gonna be my guy?

7

One day I will build a fountain
Drink and never grow old
Then I’ll market an elixer
That will eliminate the common cold

Find your sickness on my list
Pay up front and make a wish

One day I will work with animals
All the tests I’m gonna do
All my stuffs completely natural
And when we’re done
We’ll boil ‘em down for glue

That we can use to re-adhere
Your lips to mine if you were here

There’s a lot I will never do
Some fantastic I know it’s true
But not as much as my want to be with you

I can’t stand to wait in line long
So I built a new machine
It just measures up the distance
And then eliminates the folks between

One day I’ll construct a sattelite
And I’ll name it after you
Cause’ you were the greatest friend of all
Except for when you split my lip in two

To see the look upon your face
As I launch you into space

There’s a lot I will never do
Some fantastic I know its true
But not as much as my want to be with you

Bye bye self respect
I haven’t had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you

Someday I will find the secret
To your social chemistry
Then I’ll print it on a t-shirt
And it’ll make you want to be with me
And if I wear it past your work
You’ll see other guys are jerks

Much like phereromones for flies
You will not avoid my eyes

There’s a lot I will never do
Some fantastic I know its true
Not as much as my want to be with you

Bye bye self respect
I haven’t had much of it since you left
Even mice are bereft of you
I missed out on the best of you

Bye bye self respect
I haven’t had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you

Bye bye bye

6

Now I lay me down not to sleep
I just get tangled in the sheets
I swim in sweat three inches deep
Just lay back and claim defeat

Chapter read and lesson learned
I turned the lights off while she burned
So while she’s three hundred degrees
I throw the sheets off and I freeze

Lids down
I count sheep
I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts
Is that I won’t sleep
I count down
I look around

Who needs sleep?
Well you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep?
Be happy with what you get
And there’s a guy that’s been awake since the second world war

Who needs sleep?
Well you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep?
Be happy with what you get
And there’s a guy that’s been awake since the second world war

My hands are locked up tight in fists
My mind is racing filled with lists
Of things to do and things I’ve done
Another sleepless night’s begun

Lids down
I count sheep
I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts
Is that I won’t sleep
I count down
I look around

Who needs sleep?
Well you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep?
Be happy with what you get
And there’s a guy that’s been awake since the second world war

Who needs sleep?
Well you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep?
Be happy with what you get
And there’s a guy that’s been awake since the second world war

So much joy in life
So many pleasures all around
The pleasure of insomnia
Is one I’ve never found
With all life has to offer
There’s so much to be enjoyed
But the pleasures of insomnia are ones I can’t avoid

Lids down
I count sheep
I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts
Is that I won’t sleep
I count down
I look around

Hala hala hala

5

If there's someone you can live without, then do so
If there's someone you can just shove out, then do so

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono

Isn't it beautiful to see two people so much in love
Barenaked as two virgins hand in hand and hand in hand in glove
Now that I'm far away it doesn't seem to me to be such a pain
To have you hanging off my ankle like some ball and chain

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono

Oh no, here we go
Our life is just one big pun
Ono, here we go as Yoko sings
Aieee!

I know that when I say this
I might be stepping on pins and needles
But I don't like all these people slagging her
For breaking up the Beatles
Don't blame it on Yokey
If I was John and you were Yoko
I would gladly give up musical genius
Just to have you as my very own
Personal Venus
Hit it

You can be my Yoko Ono
You can follow me wherever I go
Be my, be my, be my Yoko Ono
Whoa ohhhhhh

4

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound

But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

First class a fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything

What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother?

(Chorus)

She calls to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal

'Cause somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen

3

Darken the city, night is a wire
Steam in the subway, earth is a afire
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo
Woman, you want me, give me a sign
And catch my breathing even closer behind
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo

In touch with the ground
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Straddle the line in discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Stalked in the forest, too close to hide
I'll be upon you by the moonlight side
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo
High blood drumming on your skin, it's so tight
You feel my heart, I'm just a moment behind
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo

In touch with the ground
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme
I howl and I whine, I'm after you
Mouth is alive, al lrunning inside
And i'm hungry like the wolf

Hungry like the wolf
Hungry like the wolf
Hungry like the wolf

Burning the ground, I break from the crowd
I'm on the hunt, I'm after you
I smell like I sound, I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt, I'm after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the wolf

written by/copyright: Duran Duran
© 1982 Tritec Music Ltd.

5. hold back the rain

We're miles away from nowhere
And the wind doesn't have a name
So call it what you want to call it
Still blows down the lane

People tell me I haven't changed at all
But I don't feel the same
And I bet you've had that feeling, too
You just can't laugh all the time

CHORUS
And if the fires burn out,
There's only fire to blame
No time for worry 'cause we're on the roam again
The clouds all scatter and
We ride the outside lane
Not on your own, so help me,
Please hold back the rain

So what if the words ain't rhyming
Did you think that it's just a game
I probably didn't even say that right
And I really don't give a damn

Okay, go off and wander
I'm guilty just the same
Sometimes you're needed badly
So please come back again

BIGFT - 2

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie)
And all I've tried to hide
It's eating me apart
Trace this life out

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Dirty little secret
Dirty little secret

Who has to know
Who has to know

But I'm Gonna F*ing Try

Songs I like:

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.

22 Days to Get Out 101 Posts - Can She Do It?

Probably...No.

It's a great challenge and a lofty goal that I would love to undertake, I like live dangerously.

My middle name could be Danger, but it's not, it's Ann.

I don't think I will achieve my goal, my minions. I will try, but 101 posts in 22 days is a bit much.

People, People, People

People...are...so...dumb.

Greatest Cliche Ever!

I was driving into work today and I saw what is quite possibly the greatest cliche ever in the history of human existence...

Woman, tanned to a hard leather saddlebag, hair bleached, dyed and blown out to within an inch of it's life, smoking a cigarette, driving a Mercedes. I had to laugh.

Also, I need a niche and I don't know what it should be. My boss says I should do what I like best. So I should write and blog and date? I really don't think they will pay me for that. Other organizations might, but not this one. I like that my day is mostly filled with my various tasks. If I focus on one thing, I would have a lot of free time, be bored and resentful. I am reasonably happy in my current position. Why change?

Oh Blessed Radio

Thou truly are an invention of god, fore ye brings forth thy messengers in Rick Springfield and Stevie Wonder, your most wonderful prophets.

I really needed some happy songs driving him tonight and the radio finally delivered, after 2 days of maudlin tripe.

Now let us turn to chapter 10 in our hymnals and sing to the God of Rock - N - Roll, that most holy of gods.

Jessie is a friend,
yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
that ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl
and I want to make her mine
And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
Yeah 'n' he's holding her
in his arms late,
late at night

You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman like that
I play along with the charade,
there doesn't seem to be
a reason to change
You know, I feel so dirty
when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her,
but the point is probably moot
'Cos she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
And he's holding her
in his arms late, late at night

Like Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman,
where can I find a woman like that
And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,
wondering what she don't see in me
I've been funny,
I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way
love supposed to be
Tell me, where can I find a woman like that
[Solo]
You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I want Jessie's girl,
where can I find a woman like that, like
Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I want,
I want Jessie's girl

Very superstitious, writings on the wall,
Very superstitious, ladders bout to fall,
Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin glass
Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past.

When you believe in things that you dont understand,
Then you suffer,
Superstition aint the way

Very superstitious, wash your face and hands,
Rid me of the problem, do all that you can,
Keep me in a daydream, keep me goin strong,
You dont wanna save me, sad is my song.

When you believe in things that you dont understand,
Then you suffer,
Superstition aint the way, yeh, yeh.

Very superstitious, nothin more to say,
Very superstitious, the devils on his way,
Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin glass,
Seven years of bad luck, good things in your past

When you believe in things that you dont understand,
Then you suffer,
Superstition aint the way, no, no, no

Greatest Album Ever

I was listening to U2's Joshua Tree today because it really just makes life better. It is quite possibly the greatest album ever produced, written, sung and performed. Back when U2 was still "under the radar" political and Bono was still just that weird guy in sunglasses.

I stayed up way too late watching the last 3 episodes of 6 Feet Under. I have read so much about them, that I had to watch them at my first opportunity and that came last night on Bravo - Watch What Happens. If you don't know, 6FU is a show about death and what is does to people. Also there are a lot of affairs, betrayals and drug use. Good show.

One of the main characters dies in the fourth to last episode and before he dies, he is having an affair with his step-father's daughter while his wife is pregnant. I can mildly understand this in TV World (it's just how the character is) but in the Real World, you know, where reality lives, and if he were my husband, he would have been flayed alive. I do not believe in cheating. If you are too temped by someone else, maybe you shouldn't been with your partner or maybe you're just a dumbass.

Hello tangent.

The air smelled really sweet coming into work today, like all the trees are just about to get green again. Spring is upon us. And then people were driving like idiots and I needed a U2 fix.

Swerval

GC thinks I have a good voice, writing wise and is encouraging of my book.

Hopes, should you be raised? I don't know, still can't read him.

And Another One Bites the Dust

I love Queen. They are so prophetic. Fat Bottomed Girls do make the world go round and I am the champion of the world. Or at least I will be someday. I know it's "we are the champions," but who are we kidding here?

Anyway, Bachelor #2 is gone (he emailed me not too long ago, see below). We had a date on Friday and even before this date I knew it was nearing the end. His divorce is just too fresh and I didn't want to be a rebound. It was always awkward and weird. He's not ready for a girl like me (glorious and lovely).

Honestly, this is a good thing. I was having trouble juggling. It's still a little sad.

The Email:

It has been an interesting year for me. I have learned a lot. But one of the things that I have learned is that I may not quite be ready for a relationship. While I know the few dates that we have does not come close to a relationship, I am just saying. I enjoy the time we spend together, but I feel awkward and frankly I have no idea what to do. And to be honest, I have no idea if you are even interested or not. So for right now what you see is what you get. Maybe it will change maybe not, I just don't know. So if you want to continue, that would be great, but if not I understand. I just don't want to give you the wrong idea, I am not that kind of person.

My Reply:

Dear Bachelor #2- I was thinking the exact same thing. Your divorce is so fresh that all I could ever be, at this point, is a rebound and I don’t want to be a rebound. You really are a great guy and I hope that we can keep in touch and maybe something will start at another time. But now is not that time.

I think Friday was proof that we should be friends for now. It was a little weird.

I am glad you made the first move on this.

Betty

Turkey Pot Pie

Being of the incredibly poor persuasion, I cannot buy lunch everyday, unlike my bosses, who just stepped out for lunch. I was at the grocery store yesterday (yes, I got up early and ran errands and groceried). I haven't been actually cooking my dinners for the last 2 weeks and reheating was getting old so I ventured out into the beautiful day and bought food.

I found an incredible deal on pot pies and I bought a ton and they will be used for lunches at work.

I also bought many things for dinner, chicken, potatoes, corn, bread. I have been eating quite crappily lately and I need to get back to healthier living standards. It was chicken and garlic bread last night. Tonight will be something involving a potato and tomato.

Also I got a jump start on Easter and washed my sheets in new detergent. They don't have anything to do with each other but I thought you should know that Easter is taken care of and I am sleeping on clean sheets.

Hey, the cat seemed impressed.

Also, I am wearing open toed shoes and I should really paint my toes. They look pale and naked.

Sweet Lord on a High Hat

I am bored. I went tubing this morning with Vieve. Super fun and very cathartic for her. Her tool boyfriend broke up with her on Thursday night. Asshole. Yes, she was going to do it herself, but it's still an ego blow. And when we got back I did exactly what I said I was going to do, I stripped down and went to sleep. Now I am bored. I really don't want to see anyone, they are all busy anyway. I'm not hungry (although I did make my grocery list for tomorrow), I don't need to clean anything (took care of that last week). I've watched "Men with Brooms," so I am bored. Emails are returned. Bored. Guess I could just take a shower and go to bed, huh?

Conditions were perfect for tubing. It wasn't cold, although it was snowing. Not windy, just perfect. We got about 9 runs in (that hour goes fast) and had a great time. We made excellent time getting up there (even though it was sleeting most of the way) so we had time to walk around, get breakfast and for me to buy a hat. I've always wanted one with ear flaps and now I do. It's purple and has a ball at the top. And it was on sale.

Does No One Do Anything?

This is why medical and psychiatric care for children needs to be regulated.

Dating & Waiting, Or Sex in the Mid-West City

I have never actually dated. Yes, I have gone out on dates and they always (always) morph into relationships very soon after. I don't date, let alone practice the art of dating. So the past month of my life has been a new experience for me.

With the jump into relationships, there is minimal waiting when it comes to sex and all it comes with. Ohh, she said sex. That slut! No, not so much. I am relatively chaste compared to most of the people I know. But not chaste, that's boring. I've said this before.

With dating, there is waiting. At least in my new found experience. I don't know what they are doing when they go home, but I wash my face, get into bed, read and sleep. They could be going out again, on the prowl for some comely piece of flesh to bed for the night. Who knows.

I was informed last night that the last time I had sex was in January. I think it was really December. Which would mean I haven't had sex since last year! And that is sad.

I am usually OK with this. I am like a camel wandering the desert, I can last a while until I find an oasis. But thinking about the last time (which was bad) and when it was (a long time ago), makes me miss it.

When dating, what is the appropriate time to wait until you make the move toward the bedroom, or car, or dressing room, or elevator?

Another Year Older, And Slightly Less Annoying

Happy Birthday Bing-a-Ling!

I hope you have a wonderfully pink day.

The Moves

I was getting ready for my most recent date with GC at Vieve's house. She lives close to my office and the site of said date and why waste an hour driving home when I could get ready there. She is a good friend.

Anyway...we were talking and something she said threw me off. She said, "From what I've heard, you have the moves. You need to put them on him. Use your feminine wiles to get a kiss."

One, does this not sound like "you get around, you wily slut"? I know she didn't mean it as such. I do have more experience than she does. BUT NOT MUCH MORE! I've kissed my share (mostly frogs), but everyone has, except the chaste, but they're no fun, so we'll move on.

Somehow this conversation was repeated back to GC and when I kissed him, he said I had the moves. Which made me smile and not be able to find my keys for several minutes.

Woman....Whoa - Man!

I was talking to Vieve last night and we were deconstructing my recent dates and why men rarely make the first move anymore. She says it's because they are intimidated by strong, smart women. This claim is backed up by one of her male friends. I don't know. Women can be scary, yes, and intimidating, but that shouldn't stop you (men) from following your instincts and laying one on us.

I made the first move on B#5 (thenceforth known as GC). He kissed me on the cheek, as per usual. This being our third date, if something didn't happen now, we would transition right into the Friend-Zone and I am having none of that. I am paying good money to meet these men, I am getting my money's worth.

We talked for a bit more and he was about to leave when I motioned for him to come closer and I kissed him. He kissed back and it was good. But why didn't he kiss me first. My breath was good, nothing was in my teeth, I'm super cute (I use a little too much gel, but I am working on that). Could he have been intimidated by me. Scared of a small woman with a penchant for saying really inappropriate things and a love of now-cancelled SciFi shows?

Tuesday and Wednesday

I saw 300 last night and it got me all pumped. I think it was the war cries, the soldiery encouragement and the courage of the Spartans. You have to dig a movie where the entire male cast spends 2 hours in knee high boots, leather underwear and capes (the world's first drag queens?). Very fun, grotesque and beautiful.

One thing though (spoiler), why do women think they can sway men's minds by sleeping with them? They are just being manipulated and stupid if they think they can.

I saw the movie with Bachelor #5. He is very fun to hang out with and let's me kick his ass at pool, which strokes my ego and induces a "Betty Dance." He is willing to see me during the week, something Bachelor #2 apparently can't do, so there are some decisions to be made, ay? Ay.

We have plans to see each other next week, Tuesday or Wednesday. I think I might be weirding him out though, with my normal personality, which can't be a good thing. He is sticking in there though. Am I that charming?

Tonight is the Dad Birthday Celebration. Goodie...parents and surly sister. No, I like spending time with them. Really I do. Truly.

It's Alive!

According to several websites and some pretty cool 3D sonogram imaging, my nephnie supposedly looks almost human. I have yet to see anything other than the gummie bear I saw at 4 weeks, so let's hope it doesn't look like a Mars Bar at the next exam.

BULLSHIT

I was watching Bullshit this weekend (the Penn and Teller show, good cable rocks). It was the abstinence show and I have some issues with the people on the program.

I am all about teaching young people about the consequences of sex. I think they should be given all the information before they can make such a big decision about their lives. Sex is a big deal and should be thought of as such.

Abstinence only programs are bullshit. Why, because studies have shown that kids are going to have sex no matter what you teach them about it. But kids who are taught abstinence only are less likely to use a condom. Which unless they are “sleeping with” (I toned down the word) a sterile virgin, opens them up to a host of problems or surprises. Including but not limited to STDs, STIs, pregnancy and death. Welcome to the real world.

They interviewed several (ok, 4) twenty-something virgins and they actually said that their first time was going to be magical and one even said they wouldn’t use a condom. I love people, they are so stupid. First of all, the first time is never good. No matter how many partners you’ve had, the first time with anyone is never earth-shattering. Secondly, use a fucking condom. Things happen. Diseases are caught, babies are made. Just because it’s your first time doesn’t make you immune. You’re not God (does God get laid?). Shit happens.

The people that call themselves experts on the subject of “teaching” young people about sex (or not, as in the case of the abstinence only fools) are morons. Sure, you can teach them to say no for as long as you want, but eventually they will have sex. It happens. You have to teach them to be safe. It’s like teaching your kids to look both ways before crossing the street. All parents should do it. I had sex-ed 5 times (mom, 5^th grade, 8^th grade, 10^th grade and sophomore year). I think I have a pretty good handle on the whole deal, even though I am incredibly confused by the whole dating and waiting thing.

Also, and I am quoting my mother here, those who say they don’t masturbate are lying, (that means you little interviewees). I call bullshit on all of you!

Good God, It's Tuesday Again

I was so tired last night I could hardly enjoy Eddie Izzard. The man’s a riot and I was too sleepy to enjoy his hilarity. Or maybe it wasn’t his best work. I like when he talks about history, this one was mainly about the Bible. Funny, but not as much as some of his work. He gets another chance later this week though.

Well, house sitting is officially over. It was over on Saturday, but, hey. I thought they were coming home on Sunday, but they all called me from Florida when they got off the boat and let me know they were talking about me to one of Mom’s oldest friend’s (who is the LLS’s namesake and whose daughter I grew up with and who just got married). Oh and that they would be back that night, late. I was going out anyway for the Most Sacred of Days so, no matter. I cleaned the house and fed the pups (once a day, so cruel, but you don’t get fat animals, like mine. I spoil her) and went on my merry way to Jo’s house and the bar. St. Patrick’s Day BBQ, a new tradition. It was cold. The BBQ didn’t last long before we went in the house. I had a Killian’s and 2 Guinness. And I won t-shirts at the bar. I love raffles.

Vieve came with and we kind of broke off from Jo and the rest and stayed at Meade Street listening to Celtic music and talking to some people we met on the deck. They were very nice. 2am I got to sleep. And stayed there until I had to get up, which was noon. Fatty was very happy to see me. Wouldn’t leave me alone really and hasn’t since. I think she thinks I am going to leave her again. She’s mildly co-dependant.

Anyway…

I was supposed to see a movie on Sunday, but my plans fell through. Then, Vieve and I went to lunch and mild shopping. I really want a pair of Gap Curvy jeans (cause I’m curvy and they fit really well, also they make me feel thin, because I am a much smaller size in that particular brand), but they are fifty dollars. You would be proud of me. I held off and bought a 4 dollar shirt and am going to save my money for the pants. She bought some khakis (also $50) which I also need to do because I wore my khakis to work yesterday and they are not flattering at all. I have hips. And the khakis that did look good are falling apart, I’ve worn them so much.

Anyway…

So I am seeing the movie tonight and saving money.

Also it is the Daddu’s birthday. He is old, let’s wish him a good one.

He just spent a week on a cruise ship and on several tropical islands, he’s not getting any fanfare from me.

Love you Daddy!

So....tired. Must...die.

All Accountants are...

I really do not like our head accountant. Not just because he is always smiling this very superior, fake smile, but because he’s a tool. He suggested the office get a time clock. This is just a way to control the minions (me) and I hate being put under control. Why get a clock for 3 people? PS - They are making the other accountants hourly. It’s not like it’s actually going to do anything. I have been on clocks before and they are pretty must useless. And it makes me feel like I am in a menial, uniform required job. It’s demeaning, honestly and he thinks he is so cool for doing this. What an ass. I overheard some ladies in the elevator talking about him. He got off first and another gentleman held back and let the ladies disembark before him. They said this man was “a real gentleman, not like that jerk” indicating the accountant in question.

Dear Abby - You're a Hack

I read "Dear Abby" everyday, mostly to feel good about my life and the happiness I have enjoyed. I have noticed a pattern forming in all of her columns. Her standard advice is: talk to a trusted teacher or clergyman.

All wrong. Most of these people turn to a newspaper column for advice because they can't or don't know a trusted individual that they can turn to for help. And some of these stories are pretty sad. Like today's, a young girl is being sexual harassed and possibly photographed by her stepfather. And Abby only goes to say she needs to talk to a teacher.

Yeah, and the cops, this guy is a freak and is probably abusing her baby sister too because she can't fight back. This world is a fucked up place and Abby is completely out of touch. What these poor individuals need to do, as a rule, is call the cops and the hospital and find out the services they can get after experiencing some of the stuff I have read about in that column.

And stop writing Abby, that's just encouraging her.

Where's the Love?

I just realized how utterly heartless my boss is. Not the big boss, he's great, my direct supervisor. One of our bookkeepers' (we have 3) boyfriend's sons was in a really bad car accident (where his travelling companion died) last night and is in the ICU at a local hospital. I asked if we could send a little something over there, you know, show our support. Do you know the response I got:

"Well, she's not married to the guy and that's how I feel about that."

Awful, heartless, cruel.

Family is not legally binding agreements and blood. A family is the people to surround yourself with in good times and bad. They've seen you grow and change and become the person you are. I consider all my friends to be part of some sort of weird little family. Cause we're weird.

Joan is a wreck, she talked to one of the other bookkeepers this morning. She's been dating this guy for years and has known his kid just as long.

So I am going to send an encouragement card to Joan at the hospital. Me, the one with the heart.

Looky What I Found

Things I found in the purse I borrowed from Jo:

- Address card for her parents (which I copied. I send them a Christmas card every year and every year I hound her for the address)
- Address card for her parent's old house here in the Middle
- Hershey's Kisses wrappers
- Wax candy wrapper
- Sheraton Hotel room key-card
- Fortune Teller card
- 2 dollar bill
- College ID/Bus pass
- Business card for some guy
- Voter Registration Card (see, we young people do vote)
- Traffic ticket from 2006
- Car registration
- Ball point pen that looked like it had been rolled in goose poop (I cleaned it)
- Hair deeley and clip
- Rhinestones (I had no idea)

Another Beautiful Day in the Middle

Good morning to all near and far away. Lovely weekend. Lovely weather except for some rain (cold, non-summery rain, my least favorite kind). Took care of the dogs, they love me, I give them cookies and scratch them on the ears. Went out with Bachelor #4. We had a good time, talking, playing pool and noshing of diner breakfast. It's not whet you think. It was like 11:30pm. I'm not that slutty. He and I share a love for Farscape. We are going to go out again.

B#2 and I had a good time at the zoo. I am slightly sun burnt but I got to see elephants and walked several miles from which I am a bit muscle tired. Not sore, that would be pathetic, just tired. Thing is about B#2, I am the first person he's dated in a long-ass time so it can get a little awkward. But he is coming to my St Patrick's Day celebration, so we shall see. He's just so cute and sweet.

My commute into work this morning was less than 15 minutes. It's fantastic enough to make me want to move back to ParentTown. OK, maybe not.

He Noticed

Creepy Leaner noticed I no longer had the sharpener on my desk. He cornered me outside the copy room and said:

"I thought you had a pencil sharpener on you desk."

To which I replied:

"I did put I put it away, I never used it. I put one on Angela's file cabinet for you." I have told him this numerous times, to no avail.

He looked hurt

Looking Forward

Do you know what I am looking forward to most about tonight? A short commute and a trip to the grocery store and that makes me happy. House-sitting starts tonight. I am excited. The house is great, the animals love me and do whatever I tell them to do. Long walks are not required and miss having a dog in the house with me. Kitten Little is snugly and a good alert cat, but there is something about a dog.

Anyway, with house sitting comes: money, a shortened commute and puppy lovin.' Also the added bonus of being closer to the Youngest. I doubt she cares, but I love her and she'll be alone with my gestating Nephnie for a week.

Licivious

I have a pencil sharpener on my desk. Never use it. I use mechanical pencils. It was left over from the previous tenant of my desk. Much like the 50 message pads, taking up room in the store closet.
We have auditors, one in particular who bugs the bejeezus out of me. He makes a point of coming to my desk to sharpen his pencils. Even though I put a sharpener in the back for him to use, he still comes to my desk to use mine. And he always says something. Either about my choice of lunch, the sharpness of his newly sharpened pencil or something else completely useless. And he leans. Most people would be courteous and reach an arm through while pardoning themselves. Not him, he gets right up in my personal space...my little Betty Bubble, which only a choice few are allowed to do. And sharpens....sharpens...sharpens. Who uses regular pencils anymore. We have the technology, use it!

But no more! Fore I have unplugged the sharpener and put in away in the back with the rest of the unused technology. Hopefully, he'll leave me alone.

Most Sacred of Days

It is 10 days until St. Patrick's Day, that most sacred of drinking holidays. I plan on spending the night at a pub, drinking and toasting health and happiness with my friends and B#2.

OMG, the Laundry is Destroying Everything

I put away my laundry!! I know, I know. You are thinking this is insignificant. But considering I haven't actually performed this act since December. It's a big freakin' deal. I realized I hadn't put the laundry away since December when I found the shirt I wore to my parent's Christmas party at the bottom of one of the baskets.

It had all been previously living on my dining room table. It was happy there. Contented even. Settled. Then I started dating and people kept coming to my house to pick me up. What to do? Put it away? No. Hide it? Yes! So it shifted to the side of my bed closest to the closet. Which really impeded getting shoes. But I digress. And the pile kept getting bigger every week as I did laundry and kept adding to the collection. So, last night,I bit the bullet and put it all away before I took a shower and started in on "Spook," my new book by Mary Roach, I finished "Stiff" on Monday.

So there I am, folding and hangering my clothes, discovering things I had forgotten about and after an hour and a half, it was done. I stood proudly for a moment and surveyed my new land. Bed made and blanketed (I am trying a sleeping naked thing, it's slow going. I am trying to get ready for summer so it's not such a shock when it's too hot to sleep in clothes), quilts folded neatly on chairs. dresser stuffed and closet reordered. Then shower, book on the existential crisis that is the concept of the after life and sleep.

I am Dweeb, Hear Me Roar

I realized yesterday that I am not a dork as previously thought. Dorks have a semblance of cool or can at least fake it. I am a dweeb (slang : an unattractive, insignificant, or inept person, also an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person). A cute one who can dress mind you, but a dweeb nonetheless. And a comic book one at that.

I realized this sad fact when I was talking to B#2 about getting new glasses. I love men in glasses. He's getting them, Anyway, I made a reference to Clark Kent and Superman. And on our date last week, I talked about comic book heroes and how they never actually die (Captain American dies in the next issue of the Civil War series, BTW). And I talked about Highlander to Phil on Sunday. Oh, sweet Jesus, no wonder I had to turn to the computer to find a date.

I don't actually read super hero comics. Kind of boring. They've been rehashing the same stories for 50 years. I prefer girly comics. Bleu Monday, Hopeless Savages, Blankets, etc. Does this still make me a dweeb, hell yes!

And I am OK with this, because it's not all I can talk about and B#2 still seems interested, as we continue to talk and have a 3rd date planned for Sunday afternoon. We are going to the zoo.

Peach Dresses

The LLS turns 24 this month. I can't believe she is 24, living in SF and happily in a relationship. It's so not her. She's a bit angsty, so it's weird to see her happy.

When we were kids, birthdays were the thing. Mom threw huge parties, there were themes and bouncy rooms and goodie bags. It was the best...until the LLLS (little luscious lesbian sister) found out that she wasn't getting any gifts or attention that day. She'd throw a fit, make a scene and just be herself for a few hours until she got some cake.

However, on her birthday bedecked in her favorite peach colored, ruffly dress, she would shine. Our Dad made her a kitchen set one year (you know, those plastic things with the fake food, only hers was wooden, didn't mold like the other ones did and didn't light up, but it was so cool, we all helped paint it, Mom did the burners). Anyway, Dad is rolling it out onto the backyard grass where LLLS is opening her gifts and she rushes toward her new play set and I do believe coldcocked some wayward kid while screaming "No, it's mine" when they mistakenly got near it We've been telling that story for years because honestly, we love her but, that is the best example of the LLS's personality.

From reading her blog recently, I think she's mellowed slightly. Although if you had seen her at Christmas last year, you'd have thought something different entirely. She's not allowed to play games with the family any more.

Happy Early Birthday LLS - I Love You

I Kiss and Blog

OK, so there was no snow for the move, which went amazingly well, thank you. Jo did all the big furniture with a U-Haul the night before so all we had to do was the odds and ends. A few trips with 3 cars and we were done. Lunch was provided. It was a good day. I pulled something in my right calf.

Then I got 15 minutes worth of down time before I had to get ready for my date with Bachelor #2. We saw "Zodiac" which was very good, incredibly well acted and amazingly long and detailed. But still good. Then we went to a diner and talked. Let's see, the movie let out at 10, we talked til 2:30am. That's 4 and a half hours of talking. Plus a 3 hour movie. And then he kissed me. I felt tinglies. We are going out again this week or weekend. I like him.

Sunday was a coffee date with Phil. Perfectly nice guy. Kind of a dork but very nice. We only had an hour together but it felt longer. He is severely allergic to cats (carries meds in his wallet just in case). I am not going through that again so that's it then.

Please Meet the Next 3 Days

Friday (day): Work, oil change, work, return unused headlight.
Friday (evening): Date with Bachelor #1, dinner or something, he called as I was driving into work, I was concentrating on the road, ok...I was at a stop light, but still.

Saturday (day): Help Jo move, in snow, I am the bestest friend ever.
Saturday (evening): Dinner and movie with Bachelor #2. Much talking to ensue, wee hours people, wee hours.

Sunday (day): Coffee with Phil at 10am. Kill me now.
Sunday (evening): Meet with Charlie and Sue to discuss house sitting. Meet new dog, curse at evil bird, get drooled on my old dog, he loves me.

Sunday (night): Collapse in a pile of myself, leaving clean laundry unfolded and not put away, yet again.

Yes, the point of this post to to get everything straight in my head before it explodes.

Where I Live

I live in an angry snow globe, swished and shaken like a crying baby. OK, bad analogy, but it's 9:30, I haven't had the proper amount of coffee and I was out late last night.

No, not another date. I have 3 of those this weekend. This was a girl's night with Vieve. We went for Mexican food and talked and laughed and I showed her the guys I am seeing online and she approves. We talked about her tool of a boyfriend. We talked about her trip to Africa, my trip to Europe. All in all a good night. She even showed me how to decorate my MySpace page. It's super cute now but I am going to change the background.

YeahSureRight

Saturday, March 31, 2007

300

Brownies

La Gripe

Friday, March 30, 2007

The Zone

Catching Up

Oh, Those Darn Kids

The Russian Post

The Portuguese Post

The German Post

The French Post

State of the Betty Address

Thursday, March 29, 2007

New Bar Rule

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Closed

Le trou d'arrosement (The Watering Hole)

Let the Games Begin

Trash

19

18

17

16

15

14

This is not a jab at Youngest, also 13

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

BIGFT - 2

But I'm Gonna F*ing Try

22 Days to Get Out 101 Posts - Can She Do It?

People, People, People

Greatest Cliche Ever!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Oh Blessed Radio

Greatest Album Ever

Monday, March 26, 2007

Swerval

And Another One Bites the Dust

Turkey Pot Pie

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Sweet Lord on a High Hat

Friday, March 23, 2007

Does No One Do Anything?

Dating & Waiting, Or Sex in the Mid-West City

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Another Year Older, And Slightly Less Annoying

The Moves

Woman....Whoa - Man!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Tuesday and Wednesday

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

It's Alive!

BULLSHIT

Good God, It's Tuesday Again

Monday, March 19, 2007

Thursday, March 15, 2007

All Accountants are...

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Dear Abby - You're a Hack

Where's the Love?

Monday, March 12, 2007

Looky What I Found

Another Beautiful Day in the Middle

Saturday, March 10, 2007

He Noticed

Friday, March 09, 2007

Looking Forward

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Licivious