Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Just Desserts

They deserve to be burned at the stake, not just financially burned.

It's abhorrent to picket a funeral.


Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween, my little goblins. I hope you are all well and ready for a night of shameless debauchery. You'll be in costume, no one will recognize you, go nuts.

I was out with the Teacher last night (drinks, dinner, haunted house hunting - real haunted houses from a paranormal site) and a person came to the bar as the Headless Horseman, sans the horse. Very good costume, although he or she had to drink through a straw through their shirt. Side note, had a very good chocolate martini. Yum!

My Halloween plans consist of passing out candy and being really darn cute with the Teacher, he's coming over to watch a movie and have take-out.

Then he's going to California for several days.

Bah! Or Boo! rather.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Status Update

The Teacher = boyfriend.

Since Friday.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Happy Ending

There is a definite possibility of a naughty massage place in my new building.

Two men have come to my office thinking this massage place is on our floor, it's one above. Both men were Russian and not to pretty.

I hope it's a "happy-ending" kind of place. I've never seen a vice bust before. OK, I haven't seen any kind of bust before. But I think the cops were delivering a warrant this morning to my catty-corner neighbor across the street.

Speaking of neighbors, I think I made friends with the guy who hit my car.

Things are still going well with the Teacher.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Not So Surprising Devolpment, or I Have Boys Coming Out of My Ears

I was walking down the hallway, on my way to homeroom. No strike that, on my way to the copier, but what transpired next was right out of an episode of Dawson's Creek or 90210. I was cornered by Cathy, who pulled me into the file room and said, "You know Jeffrey has a huge crush on you." Yes, I know, he's not that inconspicuous.

It was one of those, he likes you and I've been sent as his emissary to see if you like him. Check Yes or No is playing in my head at this moment.

I politely said that I didn't date where I worked (more on this below).

What was going through my head, however, was:

Oh, hell no!

I cannot abide the "he likes you, do you like him?" blather.

One, an adult male should be able to approach a woman and ask her out. As should an adult female.

Two, I do not date at work and even if I did, it certainly wouldn't be with a ball-less coward (although he has gotten bolder, he's trying to talk to me more and he's touched my shoulder a couple of times this week)

Three, I am seeing someone who, yes, got my number from a friend, but he was bold enough to ask for it. Like I said before, I work with middlemen here.

Four, NO, NO, NO, NO.

This is a lesson to you gentlemen out there. Let your balls drop, be a man, take action. Don't just sit around and get people to do your dirty (or not so dirty) work for you. It's pathetic.

My motto for dating is "Don't fuck where you eat, don't shit where you sleep" which loosely translates to do not date where you work or live (don't fuck anyone in your dorm, apartment complex or gated community). Bad things are bound to happen and not in a good way.


Deborah Kerr died today.

The best of movie making is slowing fading away.

The Sweetness Continues

So my life is relatively a good one. I have a wonderful family, great friends, a roommate who is only sometimes pissed off at me (when I am only semi-conscious and get into the shower before her), I am seeing a great guy, but...

There is always a but...

And don't get me wrong, I love my job. I have free reign over office supplies, I'm in heaven.

However, I have been working a lot of over time. Do I get paid for it, no, because I am on salary.
When I was hourly, I didn't work this hard. I didn't put in the extra hours (mostly because I was told not to). I did not work a 50 hour work week.

Yes, I know we just moved so a little extra time is needed, but seriously, I have been in the office almost an hour after quitting time everyday this week.

I am hoping this will pay off when end of the year bonuses come in or when my 1 year review comes up.

What makes me a little more mad was that I had a date last night that I had 20 minutes to get ready for. I did it, by a miracle of god, I did it and I looked pretty good too.

You can never go wrong with velvet pants.


Or you could teach your children standards and self esteem. I think this is going a bit far.

Thanks to the M & D for giving me the talk at 10.

11 and having sex, SERIOUSLY?!?

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Evil That is

I have freed myself from the shackles of I went on countless dates, met many losers (some nice, but still losers), lost a fuck ton of money throughout the whole ordeal (with paying for Match and paying for dates). On the whole, a huge waste of time. I don't recommend it.

Boys are Dumb

I have said it before and I will say it again: boys are dumb.

As you know, I have been seeing a very nice man for about a week (4 dates and 1 friends involved hang out). He is a friend of BF and Roomie. He is also a friend of Fidget. Who, in his great and vast wisdom, has decided that it is not my date's place to go out with me. He should have been consulted first before any such endeavor was calculated and executed. So, he is a bit miffed that we have gone out. And you know what? That's kinda cool. Boys are sort of fighting over me (At least that is what Roomie and I were hoping for at game night last night, but alas, we were fight-less)

However, logic must reign .

1. Fidget and I were hardly serious. We saw each other, what, twice a week? And there was never an "I love you" said between us.

2. We broke up almost a year ago.

3. I am an autonomous adult and will not kowtow to the will of Fidget. Bitch, please.

4. I know way more about the new guy than I did about Fidget. I am trying this new thing where I get to know the person I am dating without the physical portion of a relationship getting in the way. It's kinda nice. We kiss though...for hours at a time.

Celibacy rules!

Hope he can hold out...

Hope I can...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

My Sweet Ass Life

Oh, so many things, dear sweet readers. First, Friday…

I went out for dinner and drinks with Roomie and BF and several others including Bo, the ex formerly known as Fidget. We were there with a friend of theirs who has just gotten back from teaching in Japan for 2 years. And since I would like to do that someday, I thought this a great opportunity to pick his brain (and alcohol was involved, so, all the more fun). But this being an outing with Roomie, there was also a guy for me to meet. He is very sweet and funny and we hit it off. The group also became that table that everyone hates. Loud, obnoxious, rude and crude. I was not drunk, but most of the table was so it got pretty loud and wild. So we adjourned to Karaoke. One of those real karaoke places, as real as you can find in the Middle, with rooms set up for each group.

We sang for a good long while, badly, as no one could carry a tune to save their blessed lives.

And home.

I kept getting messages from Bo, and I thought Roomie was texting me from BF’s phone, which I should have known better, because I have his number in my phone, under his name. I do not, however, have Bo’s anymore. Anyway, in my confused state, I texted to Bo/Roomie that I was interested in the aforementioned former teacher. To which he replied, “What!!” and a few other things that I will not mention because I don’t know who reads this anymore and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s friendships. But as he is not the boss of me, I ignored his words and told him to back off and go to sleep.

Saturday, I was supposed to go to the art museum for this Louvre exhibit with NAN, our fourth re-schedule. I texted him in the morning, since he hadn’t called me the night before to confirm like we talked about and I get this reply back: “Working on the car with my dad, will call you later.” An hour later, I am ready to go and still no call, so I get up and go alone, which I like to do anyway on my museum trips. I move fast through boring things and don’t like to talk. The exhibit is lovely, as is the rest of the museum, except the modern art, which you all know I hate. Also, my Impressionists were out on loan!

I was there for 3-4 hours, well worth it. Near the end of the day, I got this from NAN: “This is taking longer than expected, we will have to reschedule, I really want to see the exhibit.” I didn’t tell him I was going without him. Did he really expect me to waste a perfectly good museum day? An opening day? I wait for no man. I also haven’t called or texted him since then it’s too much hassle. Also, no apologies, which is just rude.

But…The Teacher was interested, as he asked BF for my number. Why the middle man, who knows. There is always a middle man with me and my group, I just don’t know why. Anyway…Sunday, I go for a hike with Gen and Wes, which I am late for. We have a good walk and come back to town for lunch. And The Teacher asks me out when we are waiting for our food. Doors and windows abound, people, abound. We went out on Tuesday. No lulls in the convo, there was laughing, talking about everything: travel, school, family, my odd fascination with comics. I do believe I can be quoted as saying, “my nephew is so cute, I just want to nibble on him.” All very good. He walked me to my car, we were serenaded by a bum and he kissed me (the Teacher, not the bum). We are going out again this weekend.

My office is moving tomorrow. I have been coordinating the whole shebang and I kind of want it to be over. Moving sucks especially office moves because it’s not just you that you have to move, it’s everyone and that is stressing. But it will be over soon. Not soon enough, mind you.

My bowling scores (bowling club on Sunday) are definitely improving. I scored over 100 this week. I am quite pleased.

I lost my copy of the first Harry Potter book (HP book club) so I had to get one from the library. I got my fourth library card in this state (5th if you count my university student ID) and got my book, from the children’s section. One, kids cannot read books that big, two, incredibly embarrassing. But, low, it was missing the last 100 pages so I had to buy it. Just as well, I don’t like to mark up books, but I needed to make notes.

I am slowly but surely corrupting Roomie. Aside from my frequent brownie making ventures, when I am stressed I eat and I got her to break down and eat real pepperoni. Monday was a bad day; the phones and internet were out all day and were wonky on Tuesday. That is incredibly stressful, as we are largely phone based here at the office. So I have 15 different people telling me in a steady stream to get the phones fixed. Several companies and several repair men later, still wonky. I am on my cell for all this. Bah! So that night I needed pizza. And since Roomie works for the Spawn of Satan, so did she. Her day was so bad that she needed proper processed meat. The pizza helped us both immensely.

Pizza, corruption, moves, dates, it’s been one hell of a week and it’s not even over.

I need a Valium.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


...yeah, you crazy.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Body Image - A Discussion on Breasts

The Mom got a boob job on Tuesday. Sorry...breast augmentation.

All my life she has told us (me, LLS and Youngest, her babies) that you should be happy with the gifts given you. If you aren't happy with them, fix it. Especially if you can afford it.

So after 51 years on this planet, 30 years of marriage, 3 kids and one perfect grandchild, she got her booblies augmented.

I have not seen them, but today they are allowed to be unwrapped.

They are apparently huge. She was originally going to go to a full C. They are, however, Ds now.


The Mom is 5'3" (5'5" with hair) and back in the day, she was a petite little A-B cup like me. We have a very similar body structure, age wise (meaning when she was 25, she looked like me). Fast forward a few years, and a few lambkins later and we are up to a B-C cup. Kids do that to you. You should see Youngest's. They are massive. Now with modern medicine behind her, she has Ds. I still have A-Bs, which I am very happy with. Especially since the invention of the under wire.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Dangerous Pattern

The funks are getting more and more frequent. So it is experiment time.

First: Modify the diet. No meat, no fried foods, limited carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables only. Sort of a depression curing cleansing fast.

If that doesn't work:

Second: It's time to go on some type of medication.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Ego Trip

When I was at the wedding last month, I realized what a liar I am. When I was trying to impress someone, which was often, I said I worked in "low income housing, helping people find places to live." And I'd get the oh what a good person you are look and a "that must be very rewarding." When I really just wanted to get rid of an unattractive/boring/annoying person who was trying to talk to me, I said I was a secretary.

I even said that I did free-lance writing in the A&E arena to the groom's step-mother (a desire, not a truth yet)

I did it on Sunday too. Mike, fellow bowler, was trying to talk me up when all I really wanted to do was talk to anyone else, so I told him I was a secretary and that I watched a lot of TV and movies in my free time. If I want to impress someone, it's "oh, I read a lot, go to the mountains, walk, etc."

I think I either have to live up to the lies or just stop the practice entirely.

Or get a second job and say I don't have time to do anything else.

NO NO NO, Part II, The Epilogue

So apparently the guy who hit my car is an extremely violent drunk who has hit cars in the neighborhood before. So says Bernardo, my neighbor. His daughter's car was hit while she was visiting him one day and they tried to confront Mr. Hits-A-Lot but he got a little miffed and tried to go after Bernardo and his daughter. So, I am letting that one go. It's for the best.

Also, I just found out that the new principal of my former high school is the former cheer leading coach and my former geometry teacher. I pray for the youth of America. Go Team!

Monday, October 01, 2007

Strike Zone

So, I went to my first bowling club meeting on Sunday. I invited NAN (Needs a Nickname), Roommie and BF and Matt for support, but it turns out I didn't need it. Everyone in the club is super nice and we had a great time. And I DIDN'T GET HURT! But NAN came hurt. He pulled something in his shoulder last week.

We played three games and I can't remember what I got in the first one, but i got 75 and 100 in the 2nd and 3rd. These scores, a semi- personal best though they may be, were not enough to beat NAN so now I owe him a movie and a home cooked meal. He only tried harder because he really wanted my lasagna (not a euphemism, it's his favorite meal).

Also, I house-sat at my parent's place this weekend, which can only mean one thing: Lots of crappy Disney movies! Sadly, High School Musical 2 was not as good at HSM 1. However, my incredibly immature crush on Zac Efron remains unabated.