Saturday, December 30, 2006

Home Sweet Home

I am finally home after 8 days and it feels so good. I am currently unpacking something I never do this soon after a trip. It was snowing yesterday, now it's sunny and warmish which means the snow is melting and I can go out for New Year, even if that means just going to Jo's. Which would be fun.

Pudge remembered me when I came home, we had a good snuggle.

So let me delve into the pregnancy of the Youngest for a mo.

I am shopping at Target with the LLS. We are in the music/movie section and she asks if I've heard anything new about the Youngest. I said no and she makes the pregnancy sign over her belly. I about fall over in the cart holding a Michael Buble CD. Good Lord, it was devastating. I am going on and on and at the check out, she says she's kidding. It was a joke she thought of on the plane, in between fits of vomiting (she caught something her GF has). I am going on and on after this, saying how cruel and obnoxious she is. We plan to get Katie with the same joke.

We get home and I go upstairs to watch TV. Katie comes in a bit later and tells me she's pregnant. Still a joke right? NO! She's pregnant, she's just told mom and dad. I am thinking they are still pulling my leg. Nope. Mom and dad looked shocked and horrified. It slowly sinks in...she's pregnant. I call her the stupidest girl on earth, she's getting upset. I continue on a tirade about how stupid she is, how she needs an abortion, that mom and dad need to talk some sense into her...blah, blah, blah. Dad and the LLS try to talk to me. I am having none of it. I am on the verge of angry/sad tears so I go upstairs. Youngest and LLS follow me giving me this bullshit about how great this is.

The next morning, I wake up to the thought that I am going to be an aunt, imagining introducing people to my niece (I am convinced it will be a girl). I am dealing with it.

Like dad says, "It's not ideal, but it's the situation we are in."

And no, I am not jealous that she is having a baby before me, I am not petty or stupid. I just wanted so many things for her. I'm a big sister, it's what I do.

Friday, December 29, 2006


Well, they and the LLS finally arrived. We had the orgy of greed on Tuesday (Dec 26) when she was able to fly in and now she's stuck here with the latest onslaught from Mother Nature who I must say is great for getting me off work, but a total bitch for keeping me away from my cat for a week (not to worry, Matt is looking in on her periodically).

I got some great presents this year. I got this and this and this and I am spending time with my family, which is the greatest gift of all.

Oh, and I am going to be an auntie. Yes, the Youngest is having a baby. I am still very upset by this (I expected better things for her than getting knocked up like our cousins, who, I am sad to say, I look down on, she was supposed to have a career, get married and then have kids). She won't have an abortion (my suggestion) so I am dealing with it. I want her to name it have me. Cool Auntie Liz, has a nice ring, huh?

The following bit of conversation was heard at the breakfast table this morning, said be the LLS: "Baby track (points to Youngest), marriage track (points to self, yeah, she and the GF are planning on committing, what, I don't know), crazy cat lady track (points to me)." Just because I choose not to stay in relationships that will not last or have babies at way too young of an age and maturity level, I'm going to me the crazy cat lady? I DON'T THINK SO!

The LLS, for the entire time she's here, is trying to convince all of us how she's changed. I think the above convo is indisputable proof that he has not changed and is still the big beautiful bitch she's always been. This is also apparent when we sit down to play games.

So those are my holidays, we are taking the family picture today (something we can't get out of until we are married, new rule. I think 25 is a good cut off, but I have been overruled.

Hope all is well in your worlds. Happy New Year.

Sunday, December 24, 2006


I was laying on the couch listening to the Christmas carol station on TV, cause that's' what you do when you parents have the good cable. And my dad drops this on me:

"I think Bo has an eating disorder, don't you think it's strange that he goes into the bathroom for so long right after he eats?"

"Yes," I said, "but I just thought he had bad digestion."

And come to think of it, it is strange that he goes to the bathroom for so long right after he eats. He's super skinny and he always eats a lot, portion-wise.

So how do I go about this?

"Hi, I know we're not together anymore, but my dad thinks you have an eating disorder."

Yeah, right.

But I know he reads this or he used to and some of our mutual friends still do so maybe it will inspire him to seek some help if he knows someone out there cares and knows.

My dad's friend Rex had bulimia for years and no one knew. So he's kinda up on the signs.

The Christmas That Wasn't...Yet

Yes, the holidays started with a bang. I get my car stuck on 2 hills and I was rudely flipped off by someone in a 4-wheel drive truck (he can bite me, I had my hazards on) and again 500 yards from my office and had to get my boss to come and give me a push, two actually, cause I got stuck in the parking lot too.

I got stuck again going to my parents, but right in front of their house and their neighbors are NICE and wonderful and helped me get out of my icy predicament.

Then the Youngest and mom were fighting. Over the phone over her boyfriend and the snow and a whole bunch of other stuff.

The LLS's flights were cancelled so she's not getting here til Tuesday.

Bright Side: We had the best game night ever last night. And we get 2 Christmases; we are going to relax and open a few presents in the morning (and have steak) and then we are going to make the big dinner and open all of our gifts when the LLS is here. She is very happy were are waiting.

I know our situation is no where near as bad as some people's. There are people that have been living in the airport for a week, including my friend Adrian (Which is something I don't get, go home, come back later, duh!) or those families that have loved ones overseas. And those that can't even afford a Christmas and I acknowledge that. Those people are are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep the LLS and JoAnna (Whom I can't find) in your thoughts.

Happy Holidays and best of luck and wishes in the New Year.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I would like you all to see this. This is where I live and where I will be under house/snow arrest for the next couple of days. They already sent us home from work early (I love working for a small business, small, people-wise, not work wise).

Stay warm, cozy up with someone or something you love. Me, I've got the kitty and my body pillow.

Monday, December 18, 2006

My New Man

My next man will be a combination of the following:

Him, Him and This ...

And Him...ooohh and Him.

Tall, Brooding and British (or Welsh, I'll take any British Isle).

Knows his way around a sword and a horse. And possibly an axe

Has a wise and witty remark for everything.

I want a knight, a modern one. Chivalrous and good.

Is that so much to ask for?

Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays.

I just wanted to get that out there before things got crazy and I couldn't tell you.

Love, BettyLou

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Big Flaming Vagina

I have spent my entire weekend watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Which, since everyone on earth has seen it, you know it features the Eye of Saurun, also known as the Big Flaming Vagina. It has been a nice couple of days, sleeping and watching LOTR. I have slept a lot this weekend. I'm just tired.

The point of this post was to say Big Flaming Vagina.

I Won, I WON!

I got my early 90s soccer mom on and I had the ugliest sweater at the party. I think I really won because I was one of the last people to leave. The girl who was supposed to win, well her sweater was too cute to win and being petty, Gus an I protested. I won a Giant Anteater stuffed animal in an ugly sweater.

I would like to thank Goodwill for the sweater, Hobby Lobby for the bells I added and mom for her truly horrid fashion sense in the 80s. It was an inspiration.

There was a guy with a sweater that caught fire so I do think he should have won too. But alas, he left early. Staying power has it's advantages.

Daria wore a vest that was made bullet proof by an excessive amount of beading. Gus wore a women's appliqué vest . Everyone seemed to get there sweaters from GW, K-Mart or Wal-Mart.

That says something...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Oh, Yeah

And that love thing. I don't think that was right. It wasn't love, it was something else. Because if it was love, I don't think I could have let go as easily as I did. Yeah, not love. Definitely not love.

Sweet Temptations

There is a box of baked goods on my desk sent to us from one of our business associates. I love this person (they are in Boston, if they were here, they'd get a lap dance) because I love sugar. The cookies are moist and there are many things covered in chocolate.

Life Update

There is a lot going on right now…strike that, there’s only one thing going on. The BF and I broke up last night. A lot did go into it and I will break it down for you here along with translations of what was said. First there was this conversation:

“First off, I want you to know that this in no way means I want to break up with you”

I want to break up with you.

“I know I haven’t been that nice lately and it has to do with all the stuff I’m about to go into.”

I have been an asshole as of late and it’s my true personality shining through, ha ha.

“I have a lot of family stuff going on, blah, blah. Work is hard, blah, blah.”

I have no room in my life for you. And you should feel really bad for wanting to spend time with me, even if it’s just one day a week.

“I’m taking on all this stuff that my parents can’t handle right now.”

My family is very important to me, but I am taking on way more than I can chew and even though you are the best girlfriend in the world and very easy to be with, I can’t be with you. Basically, I don’t want to be the bad guy and break up with you and I’m giving you an out so you will do it.

I said something to the effect that he needs to make a decision about if he has room in his life for me and that I want him to be happy and if that means not having me around, that’s ok.

Then I texted him to say he needs to make a decision about Friday because it would be awkward at his holiday party if he is still on the fence about us. Because I was home by now, you see, all this happened while I was driving home from work.

Then I called the LLS, we talked. She helped me to realize that he is not someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and that’s what I am looking for right now.

So I called him and said that “I needed someone who could make me a priority in their life and he couldn’t do that.” I couldn’t bring myself to say break-up, so I said take a break “and if someday we find each other again, that’s’ great, but if not, that’s the way it goes.” And he says, “As long as you see where I’m coming from.” And that was it. I went out drinking with Jo after that.

It’s for the best. Like I said, I couldn’t picture myself with him in 50 years. And there were other things:

· He didn’t seem all that enthusiastic to spend time with me, like it was a hassle. I want someone who is willing to see me at the drop of a hat and is excited about it. Not someone who can’t bring himself to spend more than one day per week with me.

· He didn’t cuddle, ever. Can’t be with a non-cuddler.

· I wasn’t me around him. I couldn’t be sassy and sarcastic and sexual around him, because he got this look about him when I did and then tried to lecture me on it. Your partner is supposed to make you the best possible you, not try to change you. Yes, I want to be a cutesy couple, not one that is already boring after 3 months.

· He was really quiet with his insults; he was snippy and not very nice.

So it’s over, I am already commissioning my friends to help me find someone new. I will miss being with someone, but I don’t think I will necessarily miss him. It sounds cruel, but really, three months is not enough time to get truly invested and I don't think I was as invested as much as I thought or could have been.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


The kitty is morphing again. First she was a cat, then a dog and now a giraffe. She has taken to knawing on the Chrsitmas tree, which is fine, beuase it is non toxic and she's not eating the needles, just chewing on them. I think she likes the texture. She gets up on her haunches and sits up on her little (actually, it's massive, she's fat) kitty butt, or slightly standing with her front paws up and tries to get the best tasting branches to chew on. Not unlike a giraffe.


My office smells like spices and roses. Spices because that is the kind of potpourri I got and roses because the second centerpiece I got for the holiday hootenanny (the first one was way too tropical for a holiday party, and they did guarantee my satisfaction) has roses in it. From a distance it smells good, up close it kinda smells like wet cat, but only in one spot. Weird huh? I had to start throwing out select flowers from the arrangement today, they are dying. It's so sad to see something so beautiful crumble, wither and die. I guess that's how we are: beautiful for a short time and then we fade and are eventually thrown out.


The BF is stressed, which means I am freaking out because he's pushing me away and me no likey. He was miserable this weekend, snapping at everyone in his quiet way. And he won't talk to me about it so I can't try and help fix whatever is going on.

The holidays are a stressful time, yes, but I think it's a little more than that.

When I get stressed, I vent to you my lovely readers and to my cat, but not to him. I may mention that I am feeling a bit of stress but I suck it up and try not to let it ruin our time together, because it's not a lot.


As you know, I have a thing for appliances. I have written about it, I am sure. And I love it when they just magically appear when I get back into town, as is always the case. I just got a new microwave, because mine was not microing or waving and no one likes a stubborn box.

So I requested a new one. The guy came out, I assume, all I got was a note. They tested it, it was in fact, broken.

...I am convinced my apartment is rejecting me because it knows I want to move. It should know that I love it. It's just really far from everything and the rent is getting to be too much.

And when I got back the mountains, there it was, all nice and shiny. Now I just need the stove to break and all my appliances will match.

I also need to unpack, but that is after drinks with Jo.

My Favorite Radio

I have a new favorite radio station for the car (I have a somewhat long commute and I can’t spend the entire time making fun of Swervey McMightBeDrunk. So I listen to jazz. I first fell in love with jazz when I was commissioned to write a magazine (yes, a magazine) for my alma mater’s annual jazz festival. I researched and talked to artists and their managers (also dad, in a duel role). They are all wondrous people and the history of jazz is so colorful. So now I am hooked on Diana Krall and a chick with the last name of Luna and all these wonderful songs.

The way I found this particular gem of a station, I was sitting with the gals at one of my birthday celebrations (the brunch, to be specific) and a TV in the restaurant was proclaiming the wonders of the station, whose nickname is Martini. And you can never go wrong with a martini, especially those apple ones, mmm.

So yes, some of the music can be classified as easy listening, but Frank comes on every now and again and it’s so worth it. Check it out:

E! True House Story

If you are an avid House watcher as I am (people call me , me! to see what's going on when they miss something), you know that Greg is being harassed by this asshole cop. Well every asshole has a reason for being, so I am giving this guy a story. Sit down boys and girls and listen closely.

Detective Tritter wasn't always this way. Like most mean people he was once nice and good, but certain events beyond his control pushed him into the Kingdom of Asshole.

He was once a regular guy, held a regular job (not a cop) and was in love with a lovely girl named Emily, because they are always named Emily. And one day, Emily announced they were going to add to their little family, she was pregnant. Tritter couldn't have been happier, he loved Emily and wanted a child with her to love and raise.

But complications arose. Something was wrong. They went to the hospital where Emily was seen by a physician who didn't seem quite right. Tritter was suspicious and asked for another doctor but none were available. Confusion and complications ensued and Emily and the baby died. Tritter then learned that the physician had a history of drug abuse and was high when he was treating Emily and the baby, which made him give them the wrong dose of medication that killed them.

At this point, Tritter decides to do something exceptional with his life and to do this joins the force to help stop these types of medical personnel in order to save future Emilies and their babies.

He has informants everywhere and one day he hears of a doctor who pops pills while treating patients. Tritter thinks who does this guy think he is, brazenly flaunting this behavior. He studies him for some time, quietly building a case in his head. He knows who to lean on, how to push button and get his way.

So he goes to see this doctor and his pill popping ways and once there and seeing the behavior, memories of his beloved and their child flood back and he decides this is his final mission (because, you see, he has some kind of rare disease that no one can treat or diagnose, something only House could treat, can we say irony). He must put House away or at least somewhere he can't kill any Emilies.

Until January 9, my lovelies when House returns, we shall see. Wouldn't it be cool if I'm right though?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Tuesday Night

Great episode of House tonight people. Really witty and sad and just well, House-y. I wanted to make a point of this post being a happy post. Because as you may not have noticed (I've been a poop lately), I really am happy. Christmas is on the way, as is Hanukkah for my Jewish reader (and a half if you count the LLS who recently announced her plans to convert to the oldest monotheistic religion in the world). Digressing...

Christmas, a time for family, I am the official junior supply getter, under Dad, if Mom forgets something. The LLS will be in town, for a short while, but she will be here :). I miss her, I called her tonight and she was sleeping, at 8pm. Should I worry?

We will carry on our tradition of sleeping in the same room on Christmas eve and wake up too early at the Youngest's pleadings, or the LLS's who ever gets up first, probably Youngest.

This also means Mom and Dad's annual holiday bash, which I now understand is way too much work as I planned the office party and got the bill today. It was over 2K!! But it was a great party, we are still eating the food. I did, however, throw out the cheese today.

The rental's party is always fun. Everyone brings food and liquor and we laugh and sing (if we get too soused), see how big the kids have gotten since last year (there are always children there, not mine, I have none) and waddle home at the end of the night as most of the guests are M & D's neighbors.

I can't wait!!

Oh, and my wrapping is done. Just a few items to bake and the holidays are done. I will miss the songs most of all.


Apparently, I suck monkey, the worst kind of suck. For further proof of this, please see Anonymous's comment on the previous post.

What do you need to make you read me? What can I do to satisfy you? As you all know, I need you to keep my self esteem levels up and it's the holidays so they are pretty low anyway, but still. What am I doing wrong? Complaining too much?

Yeah, that's probably it. But you didn't mind it not that long ago so what changed?

PS - I don't tell you when I stop reading your blogs. I just stop, It's mean the other way.

PPS - I am crying here you know.

PPPS - Fuck you, Anon.

I'm Feeling a Bit Peevish, You?

Manners are incredibly important to me, even though I have a nasty habit of interrupting people when they talk. But there are some things I will not abide:

People who do not wave when you let them into a lane, which I have mentioned before, it’s my thing. I am mentioning this again because it happened again last night and this morning. Honestly, people, it’s a simple gesture that means so much.

You must say “excuse me” after you belch, I know, you’d think this is standard in human behavior. Not so, many people do not do this. It’s not ok, it’s gross. The “excuse me” just softens the blow.

No response when you greet someone. I would even take a “screw you” if that person didn’t like me, but something, come on.

Not going the speed limit in the slow lane or over it in the fast lane.

Untimely responses to emails or letters. I have been guilty of this one many times, but I like to think I am getting better.

Making plans and then canceling them extremely close to the event date (I do not mean this to you Gus and Chinchilla). This is only excusable if you are bleeding, dying or too tired to function, in which case you should have planned better. If you are canceling on your girls for a boy, you should be thrown into the pits of Hell every hour on the hour. Alas, I have been guilty of all of this, and I will be throwing myself into the pit later this afternoon, it's called filing.

Asking someone to start a task at 4:59pm. You had all day to ask them to do this task or at least give them some warning about it. You don’t ask at the end of the day. My former employers are guilty of this one. My current employers all leave between 4 and 4:30 so I pretty much don’t have to worry about this one for a while. Also asking me to do your personal business for you is slightly irritating.

Talking in a normally toned voice at the movies. Whisper damnit! No one cares what you think. I missed most of the last Star Wars movie (really not a loss, but I’m making a point here) because the guy sitting one seat over from me wouldn’t shut up. Same thing goes at concerts. Do not stand in front of someone at a relatively quiet concert (acoustic) and talk about you day at the office. It’s not the time or the place. Do when you are driving to or from the venue or while you are getting ready for bed, not while Kyle Riabko is playing.

An Apology

Dear Faithful Readers:

I just wanted to say that I know my posts haven't had the lively snap that they once had. But you know, ya'll complain when I am happy, when I'm too snappy and when I'm sad. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't comment. So show the love.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Well, I Should Hope So

You've seen them before. Those awful blue bumper stickers proclaiming "I (Heart) My Wife. When, duh. There's a reason you married her. If not, you could at least add (under your breath, hopefully): I (Heart) My Wife('s Money, Ass, Best Friend). Which ever you choose. I don't care. I do find it highly suspect that you have to use a BUMPER sticker to say this to the world. Use expensive jewelry like all the other low self esteemed putzes out there.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Lists

OK, kiddies. I just got back from the mountains and while I am very relaxed, I am also very tired and we have a lot to go through, so bear with me.

THE UNIVERSE HATES ME - The universe hates me...sometimes. As I just said, I went to the mountains and I really wanted to get lots of high altitude lovin', but due to certain events beyond my control, this could only be accomplished with difficulty. But it was accomplished. So I stuck it to the universe, but good, ha ha.

TWINKLE- I love Christmas lights, love them. They encompass all that I love about the season. They mean light and love and happy. And I love the happy. Oh, and trees, I love the smell of Christmas trees. Delicious. They all make me amazingly happy. Oh and "Snoopy's Christmas," a song by The Journeymen chokes me up, especially when the Red Baron says "Merry Chiristmas, mein friend." I don't know why but it does. And I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

RSVP TROUBLE - I was in charge of the company holiday party sent out the invitations via email. There were so many invitees (230) that it was just easier this way. I set an RSVP date, thinking people, if given a deadline, would adhere to it. Boy, was I wrong. We had few replies by the deadline so I sent out a reminder with a new one. And still people were RSPVing after the second deadline, right up to the day before the party. These are professionals, they should have some respect, at least for my boss, the official host.

SPANK IT! - I got a very interesting voice mail the other day at work. The little red light was blinking when I came into work this past Tuesday and I pressed the requisite buttons to hear the message and I got the following: "Ooooh, you are such a bad boy. I usually don't spank, but I may have to start spanking you, would you like that, do you want me to spank you..." It went on, but I couldn't listen to it anymore. Considering this was on my company V-M system with our name in the prompt message, this chick must have been pretty worked up in order to leave this on a mis-dialed machine. Fun huh?

SEX IT UP - The BF thinks I'm sexy. No one have ever told me that.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Angst...Real This Time

You asked for it, now you got it. Real live angst. I got a little too big for my britches and was mouthing off at the BF. He called me on it. I was embarrassed. If we were still in high school, it would have broken us up. But we are adults and we talked about it and we are better for it.

Remember how I tried to tell him I loved him and chickened out. Well, he kinda got the gist of what I was trying to say and read the blog to confirm it (his words, not mine). He knows how I feel and told me this in the IHOP today (before that he scared the crap out of me with the intro to the conversation: "Sometime in the near future, we have something to talk about." That's a break up line, not a I know you love me line). Anyway, he knows how I feel, he's not ready to say it yet. We are both happy in the relationship.

I went shopping with Daria for the BF and Brian's Christmas party. I decided instead of buying a dress, I would wear one I have and just get some really cute accessories, which I did and got the sweater for Brett's Ugly Sweater Party. Goodwill rocks!

Speaking of parties, my 5th birthday celebration was great. Everyone was talking and laughing and I think having a great time. I am pretty sure Jo had a good time, she spent much of the party making out with Todd (former co-worker, Daria's roommie). Apparently, they have hung out before and thought the other was cute and cool. Anyway, it's was still a little weird.

I got DRUNK. And I was OK...until the drive back home (I did not drive, the BF was my DD). Let me just say, I haven't been sick from alcohol since college. I threw up in my parking lot (didn't get any cars!). I very quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face and went to bed where I was greeted by a very randy BF...mmm...BF. Good party.